I'm 35, and my nephew is 17. He's my brother's son, and he's been living with me since he was little. His parents' jobs used to require them to move between different towns and sometimes even different states, so they never really had a stable place for him to stay with them. They didn't want to keep taking him along every time they moved because changing schools and adjusting to a completely new place every year or two would've been difficult for him. So the original plan was that he would stay with me for a while, finish school here, and eventually go back to living with his parents once their work situation became more stable. But that "temporary" arrangement lasted much longer than anyone expected. One year turned into another, and eventually nobody was talking about when he would move back anymore. He grew up here, made his friends here, went to school here, and this just became his home. His parents were still part of his life. They'd come visit whenever they could, call him regularly, take him out and spend time with him when they were in town. They just weren't around for all the everyday stuff because of their jobs, while I was the person he was actually living with and seeing every day. Now they've stopped working and are moving to another state. They've decided to settle there permanently, and they want him to move in with them. I can understand why they want that. They've spent years having to live around their jobs, and now that they finally have the freedom to stay in one place, they want to have their son with them. The problem is that he doesn't want to go. He's told me that he wants to stay here, and I initially thought he was just having a hard time accepting such a big change. But a few nights ago, I realised how serious he actually was. Once we were lying on the bed together to sleep and were cuddling like we normally do. We were talking about the move and what things would be like once he left, and suddenly he started crying. He completely broke down in my arms and kept saying that he didn't want to leave. I started crying too because I honestly didn't know what to say to him at that moment. Since then, I've been thinking about where I actually stand in all of this. He's 17 now, so obviously he has his own say in where he wants to live. But I'm still his aunt, while his parents are finally in a position where they can actually have him living with them every day. I don't want him to feel like he has to choose between me and his parents. His parents aren't bad people, and they didn't just abandon him. They visited, called, stayed involved and did what they could while their jobs kept them moving around. But at the same time, I was the person he grew up living with, and I understand why leaving everything he's known feels so difficult for him. That's why I'm confused about what my role should be. Do I actually get any say in this as his aunt after all these years of living together, or should the decision really just be between him and his parents? I don't want to pressure him to stay because I'm scared of losing him, but I also don't want to tell him to go when he's clearly telling me that he doesn't want to. And honestly, I feel terrible about the whole thing. If he actually moves to another state, I know the house is going to feel completely different without him here. I'm so used to having him around that I think I'd feel incredibly lonely, and I know I'd miss him badly. I don't want to make my feelings his responsibility, but I'd be lying if I said the thought of him leaving doesn't make me feel miserable. I just don't know how we're supposed to handle this without someone getting hurt. His parents finally have the chance to be with him, but he's already built his life here. And now I'm stuck wondering whether I should encourage him to go with them, support him if he chooses to stay.